Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Illegal Parking As It Relates to Red Ripe Strawberries

Cal loves this book:

And so does his mom...and tonight, as I was backing out of our driveway, it was this book that came to mind. The following is my interpretation of the events that ensued while backing out of our very steep, very dark circa 1925 driveway this evening, as told in the prose of Don and Audrey Wood.

Well, hello little driver of the weak dented Honda, what are you doing?

But driver of a weak dented Honda, haven't you heard about the big, hungry Nissan Xterra? It can smell a Pitch Black Honda from a mile away. Especially one that has just parked in front of its driveway!

VROOM VROOM VROOM... the Nissan Xterra will squeal its way down its steep, dark driveway and CRUNCH CRASH CRACK the weak dented Honda into a million tiny pieces. 

It doesn't matter who you are, or where you are hiding.

Quick! There is only one way in the whole wide world to stop the hungry Nissan Xterra from crunching the dented black Honda. 

Turn on your headlights, maybe even flash those brights a time or two. Open your eyes to see that you parked in front of the hungry Nissan Xterra's driveway and MOVE YO' CAR, Dumbass.*

*Some literary liberties taken

Seriously, who parks in front of a driveway? Get. a. clue.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Musings on 29 & 30 Before 30

A few days back I ventured into the land of the 29s...which gives me approximately 365 more days to complete the following 30 Before 30 list. 
One of my favorite people in the world inspired this idea (although I now realize her idea is exceedingly unfair, as she has almost an entire additional year to complete her 30...tisk tisk). However, as she proposed the idea, I jumped on it. Bucket lists are amazing, but what motivates action is deadlines, that loom, like in 365 days. they are. All 30 of my (hopefully) attainable conquests pre-third decade celebrations. I'll keep you posted!
  1. Have/acquire* a second baby
  2. Fulfilling employment for my husband
  3. Finish Cal's baby book-- sad, huh? He's almost 2. 
  4. Blog consistently for a month+
  5. Snowshoe
  6. Indoor Skydive
  7. Learn to sew
  8. Play at least 5 children's songs on my guitar
  9. Eat at 5 new local restaurants
  10. Paint the downstairs bathroom with the paint that has been there for 1 year+...procrastination is my middle name
  11. Make a headboard for our bed--not cut down a tree make, but more than just hot glue-gun make
  12. Take a photography class
  13. Paint our bedroom and decorate it..with stuff on the wall...and that stuff cannot be circa my college apartment
  14. Organize our office...UGH, but it needs to be done
  15. Visit both coasts via LA and Manhattan or go on a cruise....b/c let's be honest, they weren't all going to happen in the next year
  16. Eat breakfast at Waffle House and Breakfast King
  17. Go to Rome (may be a bit past the 30 deadline)
  18. Run a 5K in under 27 minutes
  19. Get something published...even if I have to do it myself via plastic bindings at my elem. school;)
  20. Climb a 14er
  21. Write a GOOD Catholic children's book
  22. Speak some conversational Spanish
  23. Volunteer at a shelter/soup kitchen 
  24. Create a crafty recipe organizer and use it
  25. Have a professional family photo shoot
  26. Take a dance class
  27. Take a mom/toddler swim class
  28. Read 5 classic novels
  29. Read 1 book by Fulton Sheen
  30. Return every text message within 1 hour of receipt for at least 21 days (the length of time it takes to create a habit)
* Anyone have a baby?? Kidding...but we have certainly not ruled out the idea of adoption.