Illegal Parking As It Relates to Red Ripe Strawberries

Cal loves this book:

And so does his mom...and tonight, as I was backing out of our driveway, it was this book that came to mind. The following is my interpretation of the events that ensued while backing out of our very steep, very dark circa 1925 driveway this evening, as told in the prose of Don and Audrey Wood.

Well, hello little driver of the weak dented Honda, what are you doing?

But driver of a weak dented Honda, haven't you heard about the big, hungry Nissan Xterra? It can smell a Pitch Black Honda from a mile away. Especially one that has just parked in front of its driveway!

VROOM VROOM VROOM... the Nissan Xterra will squeal its way down its steep, dark driveway and CRUNCH CRASH CRACK the weak dented Honda into a million tiny pieces. 

It doesn't matter who you are, or where you are hiding.

Quick! There is only one way in the whole wide world to stop the hungry Nissan Xterra from crunching the dented black Honda. 

Turn on your headlights, maybe even flash those brights a time or two. Open your eyes to see that you parked in front of the hungry Nissan Xterra's driveway and MOVE YO' CAR, Dumbass.*

*Some literary liberties taken

Seriously, who parks in front of a driveway? Get. a. clue.

Musings on 29 & 30 Before 30

A few days back I ventured into the land of the 29s...which gives me approximately 365 more days to complete the following 30 Before 30 list. 

One of my favorite people in the world inspired this idea (although I now realize her idea is exceedingly unfair, as she has almost an entire additional year to complete her 30...tisk tisk). However, as she proposed the idea, I jumped on it. Bucket lists are amazing, but what motivates action is deadlines, that loom, like in 365 days. So...here they are. All 30 of my (hopefully) attainable conquests pre-third decade celebrations. I'll keep you posted!

1. Have/acquire* a second baby
2. Fulfilling employment for my husband
3. Finish Cal's baby book-- sad, huh? He's almost 2. 
4. Blog consistently for a month+
5. Snowshoe
6. Indoor Skydive
7. Learn to sew
8. Play at least 5 children's songs on my guitar
9. Eat at 5 new local restaurants
10. Paint the downstairs bathroom with the paint that has been there for 1 year+...procrastination is my middle name
11. Make a headboard for our bed--not cut down a tree make, but more than just hot glue-gun make
12. Take a photography class
13. Paint our bedroom and decorate it..with stuff on the wall...and that stuff cannot be circa my college apartment
14. Organize our office...UGH, but it needs to be done
15. Visit both coasts via LA and Manhattan or go on a cruise....b/c let's be honest, they weren't all going to happen in the next year
16. Eat breakfast at Waffle House and Breakfast King
17. Go to Rome (may be a bit past the 30 deadline)
18. Run a 5K in under 27 minutes
19. Get something published...even if I have to do it myself via plastic bindings at my elem. school;)
20. Climb a 14er
21. Write a GOOD Catholic children's book
22. Speak some conversational Spanish
23. Volunteer at a shelter/soup kitchen 
24. Create a crafty recipe organizer and use it
25. Have a professional family photo shoot
26. Take a dance class
27. Take a mom/toddler swim class
28. Read 5 classic novels
29. Read 1 book by Fulton Sheen
30. Return every text message within 1 hour of receipt for at least 21 days (the length of time it takes to create a habit)

* Anyone have a baby?? Kidding...but we have certainly not ruled out the idea of adoption. 

Flashback Fridays: Fraggle Up!

Jim Henson is a genius. I still have no idea what this show is or is about, but I do know that I loved it.

Dance your cares away...worries for another day....let the music play.

Down in Fraggle Rock.

On Communion...and Humping

Toddlers are sponges; soaking up anything and everything- up right down to my coffee this morning...oops. (Starbucks, you're welcome for the early brand conversion.)

So, I shouldn't have been surprised the other day, when I picked up Cal from hanging out with my aunt, and was told that he was offering the entire patio Holy Communion (Frosted Mini-wheat style). "Body of Christ... Body of Christ." Body of Christ with more than 47g of whole grains per serving. 

We have never played Mass, nor have we talked about receiving the Eucharist outside of Mass in any great detail. Cal simply heard it, learned it, and applied it...to mini-wheats. Good man. 

Begin the other night, as my young zealot and I were playing outside with a friend's dog. Cal bent down, pulled up a few blades of grass, and offered Puppy Colby a little macrobiotic "Body of Christ." Gweneth would have been so proud. 

Now, I am not qualified to critique one's ability to transubstantiate- but my kid must have given that dog some dang good "Body of Christ," because after Colby's horticultural communion, he was a changed puppy. He took one bite, and was, well, inspired. 

As I looked up from my picnic-table seat, giggling at the preceding doggy liturgy, I realized that my son was under the very forceful control of a very. excited. dog. Yes, dear Colby tried to have his neutered way with my innocent 20-month-old-wannabe-cleric. All the while, Cal was now screaming, "Booodddyyy of Chhhrrriiisttt, Boooodddyyyyy of Chhhrrisssttt, puuupppy!!" Seventy times seven- he's an inspiration.  

Luckily, I was able to swiftly extricate the young minister-to-man's-best-friend, and he walked away slightly disheveled, but seemingly unscathed. 

Who knows what sort of issues this will drum up in his mid-thirties...nothing a little Starbucks and some "Body of Christ" can't cure, I'm sure.

Blessed

On October 18, 2008 this happened:

 Yet, the story started long before. It started here:

Oh yeah, God. is. Good.
Did I mention it started here?

Uh huh...it did. In Rome, the Eternal City, where I left my heart and... subsequently found it. I would give it to this guy:

And he would give his to her:

It began with a simple question:

Need I say more?

In the words of God, "It was Good." I am blessed...beyond measure.

And blessed too, is the world, I suppose, because of all we offer it as Laniers (among those blessings, humility). A little montage of our offerings:

Thank You, thank You, thank You...and you're welcome. 

Babies...and His Crazy Plan

This picture was taken the day we found out we were pregnant with Cal. We were on our way down  to Colorado Springs- and it was right after I had told my husband that with all the headaches and nausea I was experiencing, I probably had a brain tumor (neurotic, much?). So, we did what any normal tumor-fearing couple would do, we pulled off the highway, marched into the local Safeway, and took a pregnancy test in the women's bathroom (E waited outside). Needless to say, it was positive- we were a little shocked, but very excited.

Yesterday, in talking with some girlfriends, we took up the idea of infertility and how it relates to God's plan. I have spent weeks mulling this over in prayer (and on long car rides) and have come to the conclusion: I sure don't get it. How can beautiful, faithful, and holy couples struggle with conceiving when so many people seem to just pop babies out like it ain't no thang? In the words of Adam Sandler's Cajun Man, "Confusiooonnnn." 

The conversation was a tad ironic, as E and I have been trying to add to the brood, Lanier. Which in essence, should be easy, right...and even a bit fun? I mean, it worked the first time, without even trying...but it seems like ease is in the eye of the beholder and we are still in the try, try, again phase.

Yet, I am ever-reminded, every time I look at this perfect face...

...that I am SOOOO blessed. Beyond blessed, and if he is my greatest (and only) blessing of offspring from our Lord then I would be truly happy and content. And I would be...I am. But, hey, we did great work. Shouldn't we grace the world with more Laniers?

In our struggle and in the struggle of so many others, I am reminded of the faith so many patriarchal biblical figures who waited years, decades, for the blessing of children. Why? Because kids were it. The most sought after blessing of all the blessings....the Tickle-Me-Elmo of the B.C. era. It was a big deal, your line, the whole familial lineage rested on their shoulders. Well, until Jesus. 

And enter: Jesus.  Supreme evidence that God had and has a plan...it may take years upon years, centuries of mistakes and missteps, but His is a rockin' good plan- for us. 

When we have asked couples about their infertility, they have all noted how significantly it has strengthened their marriages- how they would not be where they are today within their faiths and lives without it. Profound? Yeah...and it stinks of God. His plan...His plan...

I cannot say that we would have tried for Cal as soon as he arrived or that we would have been as open to life had God not just dropped him in-utero- surprise! Cal was God's Divine Plan to better me, us, through His blessings...and now, as I long for morning sickness (seriously!?), I know that God's hand is in this too. It just has to be, because it seems like God has His Divine hands in a little bit of everything. 

Flashback Fridays

Nothing like a Friday to boost a mood...and nothing like busting out a little old school to ring it in right.

Although, life has changed a bit-

It's Friday, and I'm ready to sleep...pick up a B-movie at the Red Box scene. 

Tonight..oh..oh...it's alright. 

So get up and let this mommy mellow...get her to the couch...

Cause you know it's alright. 

Oh, Aaliyah, I still can't spell your name but your music lives on...

What's your favorite Friday song?